Babies

I think it's about time I talk about my little obsession. Here goes...

I love babies. It's pretty obvious if you hang out with me enough. I fucking LOVE babies. I will often joke about stealing them, but seeing as how I will never do that to a poor baby, I feel it is appropriate to talk about it. They are perfect little balls of dough, I just wanna bite 'em . . . but I won't. My obsession, in no way, means that I am ready for a baby or want one of my own at this time in my life. Just means I love them, love playing with them, love looking at them.

I don't love all babies, however. You might not like me after this, but oh well . . . I don't like newborns. They're all scrunchy looking and smelly. Yes, smelly. They might smell nice from Johnson & Johnson's Baby Lotion, but only for about fifteen minutes. They're also boring. They don't know how to do anything and they cry for reasons unknown. My favorite kinds of babies are the ones around eight months-old and up. Of course, some toddlers I don't particularly like, but I like them the majority of the time. Eight-ish month-old babies are the best! They're plump and adorable. They can move, make cute noises and they stay smelling like baby lotion for hours. I just love them. I love babies! . . . Well, except for newborns.

Let's review: I love babies. I do not like newborns (there are occasional exceptions). I do not want my own baby at this point in my life, no matter how crazy you think I get around babies. I will not steal anybody's babies, but I will stare at it in awe from a distance (unless you allow me to hold it).

I'll babysit,
Salena

p.s. this should be read in the least creepy tone you can use. Also, I kinda actually like newborns. They're pretty peaceful. When they sleeping. And when they don't smell like poo. Or puke. Ok, I take it back, I don't like them . . .

In My Head

Been on vacation from blogging for too long. Not gonna lie, I'm just too damn lazy for being consistent with this haha. Few things about me . . . You know I have homework when I'm voluntarily cleaning. You know I have reading to do when I'm doing O. Chem homework. You know I have more than one reading assignment to complete when I'm reading. You know I don't give a fuck anymore when I'm taking a bubble bath (just took one). And you know I'm fucked on homework when I've already taken a bubble bath on a saturday night and I'm blogging.

I know you're not really supposed to drown your problems out, but sometimes it's necessary. I've been so stressed lately . . . school is really such a downer on my life. What would I do without school, though? Nothing. I'm just a "school-going" person. It seems like I'll be there forever. FOREVER. I don't see the point in continuing in something that absolutely makes me depressed as hell during the week and want to be an alcoholic during the weekends (not saying I am). Of course I digress because I need to be prepared for the rest of my life. Gotta put myself through hell now to provide for my currently non-existent children. Oh, life. We, as mankind, are only a speck of dust on the timeline of the universe. We'll die out soon enough and what is left? Nothing. Yet, we all act as though we are the center of the universe . . . well, we very well could be, but only for an instant compared to the larger picture of being. I'll go to school, stress, push my limits, (hopefully) live a successful life, and then die. What's left of me in the 60 years after my death? Nothing. Nobody will remember anything I've done. Do you remember who your great grandfather was? Great grandmother? They worked and lived to make your life better and they were alive within the last century. Who were they? I don't remember. I don't hear about them either. I wasn't alive when they were, but they are apart of my family and I don't even know who they are. Each one of my great grandparents makes up an eight of me. Don't even know them. Mankind is pointless. We're dying soon. Fuck school. Just took a bubble bath while listening to my favorite music, drowning out my realistic, yet cynical, view on the world.

Ha, I wish school could fuck itself. Welp, back to reading bullshit for a bullshit class. It adds nothing to the importance to my life, it is a completely useless class that I have to take in order to continue on my pathway towards a textbook successful life. Rote activity is the downfall of mankind.


Glad to be back,
Salena


P.S. Maybe a happier post next time haha

Brain. Hurts.

Why is it that school will work you until you want to die? My brain is on it's way to exhaustion. I can feel it coming. It's that familiar feeling that I hate. Thanksgiving Break was fine and dandy, but it's just the calm before the storm (of finals). Thanksgiving Break is just a teaser for Winter Break. They're just saying "Oooh, look how fun no-school is! Go ahead and relax"and then BAM! Back to school. Back to hell. Even worse? Finals, too. What a vicious cycle. My brain hates me. I let it turn to mush and then I put it into overdrive, with no warning, way too many times outta the year. I'm sorry, brain =(

Anywhosies, I hope your Thanksgiving was enjoyable. Mine sure was. I think it was actually the best Thanksgiving I have ever had. The food was way better than previous years . . . maybe because I assisted in the cooking of more than half of the dishes? Yes, that's probably why haha. My grandparents were out of town until about 7pm on Thanksgiving, so I took my grandma's place in the kitchen. I even wore her apron! It was a big deal for me haha it was like playing house, but with real food!

I'd love suggestions on a blog topic so suggest away =)

Get me off this roller coaster,
Salena

And yes, we do have traditional Thanksgiving foods on Thanksgiving. Jeez, I hate that question.

Sweet Pea & Lavender

I'm getting good at this whole "being a girl" thing. I just got out of a bubble bath; I was reading Glamour and listening to semi-girlie music. I'm not even kidding. It sounds so weird and movie-esque of anybody to be doing, but this literally just happened. I highly recommend you try this, even if you're a guy. I had time to just relax and not think about all the shit that has been going on lately (shit happening=why I haven't really been blogging lately). Nothing existed, except for me, my magazine, and my music. The world just fell away. I don't want to sound crazy, but it's the truth.

What else did I do today . . . ? Hmm. Woke up to my sister forcing me to do her online-calculus homework, took a late shower, had lunch, did some homework, watched the Nuggets game on TV with my papa [he gave me a surprise visit :)], took the above-mentioned bubble bath, and here I am. Great day, before an expectedly horrible week.

Back to reality,

Salena

Ooh! Here's an idea of the mood that I'm in . . .

Currently Listening To:

Tell Me I'm a Wreck - Every Avenue

Sky - Joshua Radin & Ingrid Michaelson

Gunpowder and Lead - Miranda Lambert

West Coast - Coconut Records

Burnin' For You - Blue Oyster Cult

Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift

*Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers

*Let That Be Enough - Switchfoot

*I'm Yours - Ron Pope

*You in a Song - Jason Reeves

*Highly recommended favorites of mine.

It's Halloweeeenie Time =)

Happy Halloweenie Time!

Crazy how different Halloween is now (in college), compared to when you were a kid . . . I miss it, but I wouldn't rather have it haha Halloween in college is . . . well, great. You go from house to house in search of the best party, not the best candy. Sure, your costume is a little more, let's say, risque than when you were a kid, sure you're a little tipsy, and sure you'll probably wake up God-knows-where, but it's quite possibly the best holiday in college all year! Actually, that shouldn't be a "but", it should be a "so". I just took a four hour nap; A.) To recover from pre-Halloween fun and B.) To reenergize for actual-Halloween! Oh how I love you, college =)

I'd write more, but I am simply exhausted.

Happy Halloween! And remember what I said about parties. Thank goodness my Organic Chemistry test was pushed back because of the snow days, otherwise, I'd be fucked.

I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots . . .

Salena

Isn't Life Just a Swift Kick in the Pants?

Where is my Life-Manual/Map? Seriously. How do you ever know what to do, when to do it, and if you're even doing it right? Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. The movies and TV shows I've watched over the last 19 years of my life are of no help whatsoever. If anything, they screwed me up even more than I would have been without them. Fairy tales and happy endings, people knowing exactly what to do with their lives and loving it, learning from mistakes and never looking back. It's complete bullshit.

How cynical am I right now? Geez. I realize I'm only 19 and have plenty to look forward to . . . well I could die tomorrow, but positively speaking, I have like 80 years left to live. But this is considered to be the "prime" of my life so I will continue to rant.

I think I definitely emotionally-matured later than most girls my age. Boys were not that big of a deal for me until a lot later in my teenage years. I mostly focused on my friends and school. So now that I actually do care, I have no idea what to do since all my friends are ahead of me at this emotional-boy crap. Boys will always be a source of girl-problems, but I'm just saying I am about one step behind a lot of girls (again, emotionally speaking). I'm awkward and weird. I've accepted it long ago. I love social situations, but it's still not second-nature to me how to act. I know who I am and I'm not going to act differently, but the shy, weird Salena comes out when I least want her to. This causes problems. All sorts of problems. Boy problems, friend problems, etc. But mainly just boy problems because all boys are idiots. Sometimes (not often) I think to myself "Ah, I love boys, they're so sweet and wonderful and funny and smart . . ." and then they add one more word to whatever they just said and I snap back to reality and go "Oh wait, they're all fucking dumb".

Boys aren't my only problem right now. The whole "school/education/ career" thing is really not making me happy right now. It's boring so I won't go into major detail, but HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING IS RIGHT? Where do I go from here? Is "here" even where I should be right now? Or is "here" just where I got to when I got lost along the way? "Life is a highway" and I might just turn into roadkill before I find my exit. I'm lost and confused and it seems that everyone else is speeding by with directions. WHERE IS MY MAP?! I know I should "enjoy the journey", but I just like to get to where I'm going or at least know how to get there. Once I know the way, I will be able to enjoy the journey. So give me a fucking map, damn it.

Dora the Explorer,

Lend me your stupid map, damn it.

Love,

Salena

Bad Words

I really never understood why "bad words" were bad. They are just words. Like screaming "shit!" is worse than "crap!"? That doesn't make sense; these two words are the same in definition. Cussing isn't bad, it's just another way to express how you feel, but in short-outbursts. Short and to the point. Like when I say, "fuck you" I don't really want to fuck you, but it's better than saying something like, "You're an idiot and I disagree with your stupid opinions".

I might be biased . . . I mean I have the mouth "of a sailor". I can't help it and I don't see anything wrong with it. Bad words=words.

Just sayin',

Salena

Less Like You (or More So? Hmm . . . )

1. I hate marshmallows (the texture grosses me out . . . and it tastes like shit)

2. I hate s'mores (because of #1)

3. I hate watermelon (most days out of the year)

4. I hate pudding (all kinds)

5. SNL is not funny (except for maybe once in a blue moon)

6. I did not vote with the "majority" of the country this past election (proud of it)

7. I can't swim in any legitimate manner (I will drown, don't push me in)

8. I hate cookie dough (it's just disgusting, I like my cookies cooked)

9. I learned to ride a bike when I was 12

10. My philosophy on relationships is kinda fucked up; I'll elaborate later

11. I refuse to use "LOL", even if I actually am laughing out loud

12. I don't like plain pretzels

13. I don't drink chasers, they fill you up too fast

14. My nap time is more like legit-sleep time

15. I'm an introvert, until I'm really comfortable with you

16. I started wearing glasses in first grade

17. I developed an ulcer in first grade . . . man, first grade was not pretty for me haha

This list is a permanent work-in-progress and will be updated when I realize more things about myself that make me feel less like you.

I'm no terrorist,

Salena

Lying Isn't all that Bad

It's not like I enjoy lying. I might do it as a means of survival, but not if the question is opinion-based. "Survival" meaning that if I want to do something my parents would clearly object to me doing, I just say something else. Yes, lying to your parents is bad, immoral, wrong, troublesome, etc . . . but girl's gotta have her fun. Fun is not possible with psycho Asian parents like mine. My lies are usually just little white lies anyways.

Example:

Mom - Will there be boys there?

Me - No.

Ok, first of all, my mother is just crazy and irrational. I'm 19 (and 5/6) for crying out loud, of course there will be boys. I'm not a whore, I'm not gonna sleep with random strangers and get pregnant. I just want to socialize and have fun. Secondly, getting dressed for a girls' nights? Completely different from getting dressed for a night out (unless your girls' night is getting dressed up and going out, but that's a story for another day). So what I'm wearing should be a clue as to what I'm actually doing and where I'm going. Third, mom, do you want me to be a lesbian/nun? Geez. [It's ok, I can say this because I love the gays (I can also say "the gays" because Shawn says it's okay haha)].

Often times I will answer sarcastically. My mother speaks English well, but sarcasm is not something she can understand easily. It makes me feel like I'm not lying as much. I feel justified for lying this way.

Example:

Mom - Where are you going? What are you doing?

Me - I don't know. Maybe Lynn's. Maybe to watch a movie.

Mom - You're just going to Lynn's house, right? Just to watch a movie?

Me - No, mom. I'm going bar-hopping downtown with a gang. See you in a week. Geez, mom. We don't plan everything we do (Exit quickly).

See? It's like a half-lie. I'm not really going downtown with a gang. I will be going to Lynn's house, but maybe just to pick her up in order to go somewhere more exciting. Maybe a movie will be playing in the background as we figure out where we're going for the night. Lying is okay, as long as it's justified. Plus, if you do end up going downtown with a gang, you already said you were so no lying was involved and being punished would be completely unfair on your mother's part.

However, lying about other things, like cheating on your significant other or killing people and stashing them in your shed? NOT okay. I lie to have fun. I don't lie to make you feel better. I am honest to a fault. If you want an honest-to-God opinion, I'm your gal. Does your dress do your body justice? If not, I will tell you.

Example:

You - Does my make-up make me look like a drag-queen?

Me - Yes, wipe that shit off.

It's for your own good. And if you can't handle the truth, don't fucking ask in the first place. I don't sugar-coat anything. Would you rather walk out of the house looking like a drag-queen or would you rather be told the truth so you can fix yourself? Plus, I'll pretend not to know you if you look like a fool. Appearance isn't everything, but that discussion is for another day.

I lie. With a cause, within reason. For me, for you, for all mankind.

You look silly,

Salena

To Party or Not to Party?

That should never be the question. However, if the question does come up . . . the answer = party. Here is my logic: By the end of the year, will you most likely remember "that one epic party"? Or that one time in monday lecture when you weren't still recovering from the weekend's festivities? The party, clearly. The party is always more memorable . . . even if you have to remember it through pictures.

Yes, there are many complications to this logic. What if I have to study? I won't have time to finish my homework if I go. What if I get in trouble? Blah, blah, blah . . . If these are your problems, then you just haven't mastered the art of being a college student quite yet. Quick solutions: Cram if you must, but studying ahead of time is preferable. You'll get your homework done, whether it be the morning of or right before class, you'll get it done. If not, you're just not as good as me and you suck. And trouble? Just be smart when you party. I prefer smaller parties, personally; however, huge keggers are almost always guaranteed fun. Just don't go too often. Know when you need to leave. Knowing when to leave is like a sixth sense so you can't really do anything if you don't have it; if you don't have it, just be prepared to run, hop fences, hide in crazy places, etc. Always have a reliable D.D. And don't drink to the point where someone has to carry your fat-alcoholic ass home. Nobody likes the overly drunk idiot everyone has to take care of. You're a downer and you most likely smell like puke. GROSS.

I'm clearly not a crazy party-gal. I mean seriously, I just said "gal". I have my fun and I do well in school. You just have to find the right balance between college and college-life. During the week, you might look at me and think I'm a boring ol' blob who only cares about school. You'd be correct . . . but only during the week. During the weekends, I am no where near campus, my books are under a heap of clothes that I tried on in the process of getting ready to go out, and I most likely have a drink in my hand at a friend's house (even if it is Capri Sun). My weekend is my reward for my week in hell (side note: I will usually refer to Regis as hell). Moral of the story/reinstated cliche: Work hard, play hard.

Don't blame me if you suck at college-life,

Salena

Oh! And congrats to CSU for beating CU yesterday =)