It's Halloweeeenie Time =)

Happy Halloweenie Time!

Crazy how different Halloween is now (in college), compared to when you were a kid . . . I miss it, but I wouldn't rather have it haha Halloween in college is . . . well, great. You go from house to house in search of the best party, not the best candy. Sure, your costume is a little more, let's say, risque than when you were a kid, sure you're a little tipsy, and sure you'll probably wake up God-knows-where, but it's quite possibly the best holiday in college all year! Actually, that shouldn't be a "but", it should be a "so". I just took a four hour nap; A.) To recover from pre-Halloween fun and B.) To reenergize for actual-Halloween! Oh how I love you, college =)

I'd write more, but I am simply exhausted.

Happy Halloween! And remember what I said about parties. Thank goodness my Organic Chemistry test was pushed back because of the snow days, otherwise, I'd be fucked.

I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots . . .

Salena

Isn't Life Just a Swift Kick in the Pants?

Where is my Life-Manual/Map? Seriously. How do you ever know what to do, when to do it, and if you're even doing it right? Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. The movies and TV shows I've watched over the last 19 years of my life are of no help whatsoever. If anything, they screwed me up even more than I would have been without them. Fairy tales and happy endings, people knowing exactly what to do with their lives and loving it, learning from mistakes and never looking back. It's complete bullshit.

How cynical am I right now? Geez. I realize I'm only 19 and have plenty to look forward to . . . well I could die tomorrow, but positively speaking, I have like 80 years left to live. But this is considered to be the "prime" of my life so I will continue to rant.

I think I definitely emotionally-matured later than most girls my age. Boys were not that big of a deal for me until a lot later in my teenage years. I mostly focused on my friends and school. So now that I actually do care, I have no idea what to do since all my friends are ahead of me at this emotional-boy crap. Boys will always be a source of girl-problems, but I'm just saying I am about one step behind a lot of girls (again, emotionally speaking). I'm awkward and weird. I've accepted it long ago. I love social situations, but it's still not second-nature to me how to act. I know who I am and I'm not going to act differently, but the shy, weird Salena comes out when I least want her to. This causes problems. All sorts of problems. Boy problems, friend problems, etc. But mainly just boy problems because all boys are idiots. Sometimes (not often) I think to myself "Ah, I love boys, they're so sweet and wonderful and funny and smart . . ." and then they add one more word to whatever they just said and I snap back to reality and go "Oh wait, they're all fucking dumb".

Boys aren't my only problem right now. The whole "school/education/ career" thing is really not making me happy right now. It's boring so I won't go into major detail, but HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING IS RIGHT? Where do I go from here? Is "here" even where I should be right now? Or is "here" just where I got to when I got lost along the way? "Life is a highway" and I might just turn into roadkill before I find my exit. I'm lost and confused and it seems that everyone else is speeding by with directions. WHERE IS MY MAP?! I know I should "enjoy the journey", but I just like to get to where I'm going or at least know how to get there. Once I know the way, I will be able to enjoy the journey. So give me a fucking map, damn it.

Dora the Explorer,

Lend me your stupid map, damn it.

Love,

Salena

Bad Words

I really never understood why "bad words" were bad. They are just words. Like screaming "shit!" is worse than "crap!"? That doesn't make sense; these two words are the same in definition. Cussing isn't bad, it's just another way to express how you feel, but in short-outbursts. Short and to the point. Like when I say, "fuck you" I don't really want to fuck you, but it's better than saying something like, "You're an idiot and I disagree with your stupid opinions".

I might be biased . . . I mean I have the mouth "of a sailor". I can't help it and I don't see anything wrong with it. Bad words=words.

Just sayin',

Salena